My Santa

He is my Santa. He is home. 

The Universe has been difficult but yet hopeful. His smile radiates happiness. His eyes depicts innocence. His face shines like the brilliant morning sun. Because he is love. Helplessly, I sob into my satin pillow but in the next moment I hold myself and ask if I'm giving up? The answer is obviously NO. When have I ever given up on life being tough on me , the answer is never. 

They say when the time is tough, we should get going. I keep going by counting my blessings. 

He has been my blessing this year.  It takes only ONE person who can see right through you and help you see you. Remember, always hold on to that. 

Accomplishments, however, big or small, requires one to embrace it. We're so busy being sad that we don't want to recollect that happy memories, those moments that made us feel complete. The time capsules that got you lost , the times when you didn't care about anything but love. It's funny how you think you are broken and yet someone comes around hugging you back into a healing healthy lovable heart.

You do not need anything in the world, when you've someone who looks at you as if you're the world. Love, doesn't demand anything. It's complex, beautiful and pure. He has that in his eyes. You don't need words sometimes, just the eyes speak for the love we behold. He has that in his eyes. 

My Santa doesn't come with reindeers but with love and happiness around always. That's the kind of Santa I always wanted to be with. Running behind earthly desires we often forget what the heart really wants. Ask yourself this one question, if you had to die today, would you be happy ? 

Mine is yes. Not to sound dark, but I have never felt more loved and thank you universe for making that possible. My heart is full.

To holding hands and happier days. 

May each find their Santa and may mine always be filled with love and happiness ❤️

With a subtle frown, charming smile, Expressive eyes and a warm warm heart, reigning on the pillars of love and happiness, my 🎅 took my heart ❤️

Amen.

Incomplete

The darkness of the night crawls into her room. Amidst the silent hum of the darkness, she sobs with the rhythm of her pain. The trickling tears seep into her satin pillow cover and feels moist on her face. She digs her face deeper into the pillow hoping she could succumb to the pain inside. She feels incomplete. The night is dark and lonely, and you've a long way to sleep.

Battling the fear of love, the fear of distance, the fear of losing him, she sobs heavily through the night. Questions, there are a myriad questions encircling her mind. She's trying to absorb them inside in succession answering to herself, calming herself down or atleast hoping she does. Doubts, we all have doubts at certain point in our lives. But this was the first time , she knew the answers. She knew Each one by heart.

What caught her in a whirlwind was THE WAIT. Patience , they say, is the biggest virtue. Noone tells you how difficult  it is to gather yourself and survive that time period while you wait for your future to be weaved together to help you meet THE ONE that holds your soul. The one that makes the world brighter with his smile. The one that hugs you tight enough to mend your broken pieces together. The one that gives you the security from his loving warmth. The one who is meant ONLY for you.

A little struggle here and there is always a good way to appreciate life. But hers has always been a recurring integer. The closure is obtained only when her life has gone through loops of dire circumstances just to put a cross on the checkbox of survival. Well, maybe she'll stop whining soon. Because deep down inside she feels that good days are coming. Things have been a lull for sometime but they say if you've a storm around, the happier days are not far out.

It's that reassurance to self that the WAIT will be over soon is what keeps her going. Getting through one single day feels like striking one day off from being away. Universe has its ways and she believes in the power of the universe in all totality. Positivity has its own charm and she's not ready to give up yet.

Waiting patiently for the universe to meet her half way to make her feel complete at the other side of the world 💓
Good days are coming.

Home

Gaping through the curtains, the morning light lurks around. Landing a gentle kiss on his forehead, she slides down the bed careful enough not to wake him up. Carrying herself together she tries to bring her hair together into a loosely tied pony tail. She looks at her own self in the mirror and notices a difference. She has not looked at herself in a long long time.
Gleaming eyes, tinted cheeks and a smile that painted a ray of sunshine all over her face.
She stood still , right in that very moment, pondering upon the events of the night, extending the smile a little longer, she thought to herself - maybe that's what Happiness looks like. Finally she met Happiness.

Curling up in that moment, giving herself a hug, she treaded gently to look at him. Through the silence of the dawn, there he was! The cute little gesture made by his smile melted her into his arms. His loving caress entwined her into his cocoon - warm, safe and enticing, all at the same moment. Giving in to the moment, they delved into each other in an universe of their own where they were the only dwellers, with a baton of peace and fulfillment. In that very moment, they were infinite.

Lingering through his Chestnut textured hair , like feathers on a pillow, she glanced into his eyes in a silent whisper. She swore she saw his soul. A captivating smile , oh so brilliant, that made her believe that world was a better place, making her wish that the moment should seize and she shouldn't see the light of the day. Breathing in a sigh of relief in her heart , she felt full. Nobody has ever been so kind and generous to her, she felt vulnerable and empowered all at the same time. All she knew that the time was theirs and noone could pull them apart.

Little did she know that the chords of her heart would be challenged by someone she barely knew. If she had to recall, she wouldn't even know when she had given herself away. All she knew that his arms made her wild and free. One of those feelings a writer writes monologue about, poets write verses about and the choir sing songs about.

With the first Rays of the Sun, she had found her Sunshine. Right across her face, entwined around her, with a brighter smile and a bigger heart, she found her constant.

And she realised as her morning solidified Into his , that sometimes HOME is not a place but a feeling.

The Afternoon they found their rhythm

How do we know who's rhythm matches with ours? 
How do we dance to a single tune together? 
Or rather, how do our souls realise the right one is here?

The eyes met, the gleam of the eyes that was lost in the mundane life, sparkles. There goes the smirk in her lips, she tries to hide. He just captures that. They both know there was something. 

The Tint in her cheeks gradually heads towards a beautiful red just like the rising sun in the eastern sky. Butterflies, they say it? Oh! She felt a lot many emotions then. It was like an Oops, why can't I stop? 

Fighting a silent 'yes' or 'no', she turned her head left, lurking to get a glimpse of that guy who just took her heart away. She just wished she will get a glimpse and nothing more. The moment was serene, he just leaned in to see her amidst the crowd, and she turned to get his glimpse. And yet again, their eyes met. This time with a greater passion, Greater desire and quintessential love. 

They knew the rhythm was calling for them. They started walking towards each other to find a spot where they could sit, talk, just know each other. Breaking the silence, he invited her over to his apartment. Through the myriad smiles that stretched across their faces on the way, their eyes had found each other. Settling down in the comfort of the apartment, along with the unsettling spark, she sat close to him. The kind of close enough which wouldn't be intimidating but just perfect to breathe in the rhythm of that very moment.

And then they found one that matched the silence of the afternoon, beside the rain pattered windows, mildly lit with candles, white drapes hanging down, a couch that just felt right. He pulled her gently with a smile and  she returned back with another. He wrapped her around. Both warm and comfortable. The rain with its melodious patter, had the drops crashing at a little distance, adding to the aesthetic beauty of the afternoon. 

There was a silent 'hum' in the air, they tried to capture it. Her fingers moved through his beard, which was welcomed with a grin on his face. The theme of the afternoon seemed to be love in the white silence. Shyly, but finally she looked up, and he was waiting when she would be comfortable to break the silence.  But for them, they didn't speak. They just drowned in each other's eyes, smiled through the afternoon, their inner self tapping to the silent hum of the afternoon.

Baby little steps and he leaned in.
*Sigh* she breathed heavily. Right there, she realised that her heart had found a new address. 
They were in sync. The frequency of their tune matched. The day she knew she found her rhythm of life. 
They found themselves in each other. 
Yet another love kindled.

Because, all you need is love.

The Wait

The silent night,
The winnowing wind,
The eerie feels,
The restless heart,
She looks for an answer in the night sky.

Sleep deprived,
Baggy eyes,
Shortened smile,
Brightened mind,
She looks for an answer in the night sky.

Wait they said,
Stay positive they said,
But the mind knows not,
Nor does the heart,
That patience is a tricky game,
She looks for an answer in the night sky.

Engaging around in different chores,
Waiting for her lover,
Thinking about the shore,
The calmness inside,
The vastness above.

She looks for an answer in the night sky.

Forbidden

The age long fight,
Between the mind and heart,
One says yes and the other no,
Suspended between the two,
You ought not know what to do.

And forbidden it is, to speak out loud.

One step forward,
Two steps back,
A confused mind,
With answers difficult to find,
You still ought not know what to do.

Strangled between the age old fight,
Need and want with all your might,
Trying to keep your calm,
Without any healing balm,
You really ought not know what to do.

Hoping for better times,
Believing for glorious times,
There you go to work again,
To hold on to that very struggling reign,
You ought not know what to do.

The Urban Sprawl

The city lights, far and wide,
As far as my eyes can see ,
It's sad to see I don't find a tree's side,
People look independent and free,
But the nature seems caged,
And the environment is in rage.

Towering buildings all my side,
Looking forward to my uber ride,
Technology, however advanced,
Nature's not going to give away to this menace.
When and how, we not know,
How far the doom is, we ought to know,
Predictions by the intellect count to infinity,
To which the civilians have no affinity,
It's never too late to realise,
But we, the home sapiens, are paralysed.

And as my heart wanders in these city lights,
I think of my person who's out of my sight,
So close yet so far away,
With him my problems are at bay,
Three years Closeby and two years away,
The only constant is our love that stays,
Flying high, in highs and lows,
Togetherness is to what we bow.

And as my mind wanders with these lights,
I feel grown out of a cocoon,
Wouldn't say if a butterfly would fit,
But a strong armour for sure sits,
Crawling and struggling,
Fighting and standing,
A long way into this journey,
Many more to come, I stand upright,
With the winnowing winds,
And the starry sky above,
Just another night I gaze at this urban sprawl.